I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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