Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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