Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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