Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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