In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
