No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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