I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize