I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
