She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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