Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
