he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize