dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
