i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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