I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
