i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he thought i was a dude.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
