so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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