matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
