I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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