Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
