At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
