can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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