The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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