I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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