Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
look no pants
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize