Only a mothe r could love this liver
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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