how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
