I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
