I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
