Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize