ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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