Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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