We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
