I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
