The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
either way he was missing a nipple.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
