I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
