i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
