Sry I called you an 8
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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