so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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