I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The air taste purple.
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