She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
