So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i think i have herpe
just one?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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