Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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