O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
