There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
