a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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