I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
