After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize