I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
