Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
