White coat. Heels.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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