walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize