She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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