At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it because I queefed?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
