And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
