so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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