My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
