I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
