only if we run a train.
done.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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