after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize