Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
