Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
