thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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