i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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