I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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