So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
