oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
