Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
