hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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