I wanna bring you to show and tell
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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