omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
