I wannas sexs uuuuu
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
