So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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