Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize