u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
